Jane Eyre - Michael Mason, Charlotte Brontë

Well - I power read a huge chunk - roughly 50%. I as enthralled...until:

 

 

Jane: Oh, I love you!

 

Roch: Ah, yes. FINALLY! Let's get married. I had a carriage made.

 

Jane: Mmkay. But wait. Why did you pretend to be engaged to that uninteresting Ingram girl?

 

Roch: Jealousy. Of course. It's the best known way to win love. You really are so young. (insert amused chuckling).

 

Jane: Oh, how bad of you. I love you beyond reason though. Really, BEYOND REASON.

 

Roch: Good thing, because I have this monsterously hideous secret that is NOT Grace Poole in the attic. She may try to kill you someday, which is troubling. Lets hurry and marry though, k?

 

 (Fast forward through the dark secret revelation, the reemergence of Mr. Mason, to the the monumental scene in the attic)

 

Roch: Okay, fine. FINE! See - SEE WHAT I HAD TO BE MARRIED TO? Fine. Thanks for ruining my life. Leave, all of you. (stamps foot).

Oh, yeah. Jane didn't know. By the way, where's Jane?

 

 

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I don't know, dear reader, I don't know. I'm moved and horrified at the same damn time.