5. Would you rather be attacked by bears or bees?


This question...

Have you every played the actual game of 'would you rather' in mixed company? Oh, no?


Really, it's very traumatizing.


The rule is that if you play the game, you have to answer. And everyone goes around asking a 'would you rather question' and everyone answers.


And it's all fun and games when they ask:



Would you rather have a time machine that only goes back in time or a time machine that only goes forward in time?


Hahahaha. Fun!


But then there's this one person that asks:


WYR watch your parents having sex 1,000 times, or join in once.


And at that moment, you quit the game because...obviously these are not the people that you thought them to be and you have made a mental note never to invite them over again but then you think, "WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS QUESTION?" And you realize that you want a do over  of that last question - you want your answer back about that time machine thing. You would go back...back in time! Not forward! Going forward is pointless! You need to go back far enough to punch this guy in the face who thought that would be a cool question.


Or back far enough to not have started the game in the first place.


Actually, back far enough that you never made any friends ever, far enough back to alter your personality to not be social at all and therefore never be in a situation where you would learn to play this game and get asked such a disgusting question. Because beyond the dementedness*, you've already decided that you're immaculately conceived** and your parents never even slept in the same bed.


So. I'm not answering this question about the bears and bees.




9. Have you ever peed in the woods?




This question only serves to remind me of the one reason that I'm envious of men - their ability to pee anywhere. Anytime they feel the urge, they can just let it fly in any old secluded area - they were born free, as free as the wind blows. And I just can't understand the unfairness of it all.



24. Are you lazy?


I actively try to prevent and avoid all mail*** that would come by post so that I would not have to walk across the street to my mailbox...you can draw your own conclusions from that.


39. First concert?


Fittingly, I think my first concert was an outdoor one before the 4th of July where our local symphony played. The finale being the 1812 Overture -- complete with actual, legitimate cannon fire. That is a sound that you do not forget.




26. How many languages can you speak? Well, obviously I do not command my own language very well. I just make words up because I can't recall more apt ones. Also, my husband despairs that he's never going to get me to pronounce crayons correctly, and now my poor children call them 'crowns' too.


**  28. Are you stubborn?  Sometimes you gotta hang onto something that you firmly believe for your own sanity. And in all seriousness, I'm not sure that a little stubbornness isn't good for us.


*** 27. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? I'm allergic to mail.



Incidentally, Bookloving Writer was the first person I saw on my dash with zee questions. Thanks for the fun! :)