Highland Destiny - Hannah Howell

Once, a while ago, I read a reviewer of a highlander romance bemoan the use of brogue in the dialogue. I've never really had an issue and felt it just personal preference. In fact, sometimes I like it verra much.

 

Enter Hannah Howell.

 

For the love of food on a stick, she needed to stop with the phonetic spellings.

 

Acceptable words:

 

Lass

Verra (this is kind of sexy, right?)

 

 

 

Tolerable terms (if you say I have to):

 

wee

ken

bonny

 

 

Meh words (but I reluctantly understand):

 

shouldnae

isnae

willnae

didnae

cannae

doesnae

havenae

(you get the point...)

 

Sl!()3!*@& words (otherwise known as "where I draw the line"):

 

weel

mon

 

The stuff I'm too bored to even categorize:

 

howbeit

e'er

e'en

Ere

 

And the stuff that's just period related:

 

kinsman

ye

aye

nay

tis

 

 

And, what's left? Nothing I tell you. It's just sentences of garblygook meant to feel authentic. The reality is that it feels like a headache.

 

Oh. And I was really ticked off that they hit the hay at 25%. With this terribly alluring intro to doing the deed:

 

"I'm trying to say that, if ye let me kiss you," he brushed his lips over hers, loving the way she briefly followed his mouth with hers when he pulled back, "if ye let me touch you, I willnae let ye run away this time. No retreat, no sudden crying of nay when every bonny inch of you quietly cries out aye. I will have it all, Maldie, or I will have none."

 

And Maldie's thought process?

 

"Maldie stared at him, knowing she ought to be furious about his all or nothing demand, yet understanding what pushed him to make it. If he suffered even part of the longing she did when she turned away from the passion they stirred in each other, she was surprised he had shown as much patience as he had."

 

And, now I've lost patience with you book.

 

Next time someone gives me an all or nothing ultimatum (heaven help them), I'll be sure to remember Maldie. Remember how to not be like her.